Dear Mom
Quite short but I'm working on more for a Dear Laura series.
**If anyone would like to write a story in response to this one that would be really cool.
***
Dear Elle J.J.
I want to start by telling you I love you. You are the most important person in my life. You have had the largest influence on my character and who I am as a person. I think you are a kind, wonderful human being as well as a caring, nurturing mother. The life you've provided has made me into a person I am glad to be. Thank you for all of the love you have shown me.
You taught me the value of being a good human. I'm lucky you're a very intelligent lady. I'm able to live in this crazy world because of the understanding you showed me. People regard me as smart, personable, well mannered and overall a useful, contributing member of society.
You are aware I've had some personal issues in dealing with stresses and functioning day to day. I've always been sensitive and feel deeply and been empathetic with issues of the world. I'm also a particular person that makes things harder on myself. I struggle with eating well and also things like depression, ocd, tic disorder, that you may be aware of. Those are all manageable in some way or another.
There are other matters that you are probably less aware of. I've lived with heart ache for a decade and am not able to deal with it still. My current relationship is toxic and puts me in danger. Way too many terrible things have happened over the last couple of years. It's my own fault that I'm still involved but I am working to make a clean break soon.
I've failed at somethings as an adult but not all. At least my career is going as well as I could hope for the last couple years now that I've been putting in a better effort. Spiritually I feel more sound than a decade ago. I have some friends and a bit of a social life. My kitties also make me feel fulfilled and give me some purpose. So I hope all is not lost.
I feel as if I shouldn't tell you some of the other dark things I've had to fight through, as it may only hurt and disgust you. Thoughts I should keep to myself, but that have persisted for years causing poor self esteem, anxiety, and fear. I feel terrible for thinking these things, but it all makes sense to me and seems impossible to feel differently.
I fear people may ostracize me if I am open about these things that are a part of me. I am scared that it may destroy our relationship. I think things people consider immoral and are illegal. I have fantasies and have considered acting them out. The damned fine job you did instilling righteous values in me make it impossible for me to act them out. I'm constantly torn between wanting to be good and feel good. I only want everyone to feel comfortable, be respected and have what the need. If you need me to leave that's what I will do, I just want you to know how I feel.
Ever since I can remember I've always been very close with you. Close as my closest friend but also closely bonded physically. Closer than what most people feel an adult mother and son should be. We used to hug more. Lots of raspberries, kissing my stomach. We always gave back scratches and massages. All of the time I would want a back scratch and you were quick to oblige, or if you wanted, I would give you a foot massage. It was our thing.
Even just a few years back, I would smile at you, lay across your lap on the couch and you would be content to scratch my back or legs for an hour. I recall being home from work and laying my 170lbs frame across you and asking for a massage. I remember you rubbed my biceps and comment on my strength. I remember I stroked your thighs trying to turn you on. I think we both felt the sexual tension, and I'm pretty sure you felt my cock throb when I was laying across you.
I think we've both wanted each other, maybe I'm wrong but I feel right. I've caught you looking at me like that and I'm sure you've caught me eye fucking you. One time camping you didn't do up the zipper all the way up on the tent and I saw your breasts while you changed into your bathing suit. You are just the sexiest little lady. Your ass pops so nicely, it makes my mouth water. And you're in terrific shape, toned legs and a tight tummy, you're the envy of girls half your age. Hotter than any girl I've ever dated. That same night camping you screamed while you orgasmed in the tent next to mine. It was the most amazing sound I've ever heard. That was when I knew I had to have you.
Since then I've tried to catch you in states of undress or have you catch me. I've pretended to be asleep to keep you from thinking my busy hands were of a conscious mind. I've listened to you orgasm countless times with my ear to the ceiling under your bedroom. I didn't bother to quiet my girlfriend while we screwed next door so you could hear what you were missing.
It gets worse. I go through your stuff, trying to find picture or anything naughty. I've read a couple of your adult stories that were hidden under your bed. They're pretty tame compared to mine. ;) I've stolen your freshly discarded underwear to enjoy your intoxicating aroma and taste. I've stolen the orange member from your panty drawer to do the same and to compare. It's just a touch longer than me but not quite as thick. Also I enjoyed the assortment of sexy underwear that you never use. I would imagine you wearing them and seducing me in them. I would imagine you naked in your room, until I didn't have to imagine it.
I got myself a fancy little high definition action camera for my "sports" hobbies. I've set it up in the bathroom and I've set up in your closet. Watching you disrobe was the most exciting thing I can remember. I was in awe of your bush, your ass looked so sexy and breasts just as I remembered. I watched you put on your underwear then professional work clothes and come downstairs to say goodbye to me and go off to work. Anytime I would see you in your robe I was able to vividly remember what was under it.
I may have gone too far past a boundary that I can't go back. I would think of grabbing ahold of your juicy white ass and lapping at your sweet pussy. I've always wanted to make you feel good I want to eat your pussy so bad. I sneeze when I think of doing it. That's right. Science doesn't know why people sneeze. Yeah, dust and stuff, but the sunlight and other things do it too. There's a theory that it has to do with the anticipation part of the brain. So If I have a sneeze that just won't go I imagine eating you out and the sneeze comes out with some great relief. So if you hear me sneeze I'm picturing you nude in your bedroom while I'm going down on you. Achoo! My search history is all mom/son, incest porn and it's the only thing that excites me.
If there is a way we can be together I need to know. I know I think this isn't one sided, maybe I'm wrong. It would make sense you would be as afraid or more than I would be if you have those same feelings. I'm giving you permission to be open with me about anything. Love is what's important.
I don't know if this is all too much for you, learning your son has always been sexually attracted to you and so attached for that reason. Maybe writing about it will get it out of my system, or possibly it will only help to grow my desire. Know that I wrote you this letter because wanted you to know what I was feeling. I love you mum and always will, however you will let me.
- Bee Jay"
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https://www.wikitree.com/index.php?title=Pratten-130&public=1
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https://www.themoviedb.org/person/1686362-riccardo-mandolini
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